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Positive Joe here. My motto: Be Real. Be Positive. Be Alive. Because when you’re real, you live in genuine positivity — and that makes you truly alive. And let me tell you, I’ve been thinking about you humans. You’ll try anything — and I mean anything — before you face the truth.
Positive Jill here. Easy, Joe. Let’s not scare them off right at the start.
Positive Joe: Scare them off? I’m just warming up! Step right up, folks, to the Healing Circus! You’ve got your Cryo-Freezer™ — pay $499 to turn yourself into a human popsicle. Tagline: “It’ll freeze the crap right out of you!”
Positive Jill: Really, Joe?
Positive Joe: Oh, just wait. Next up: the Juice-Cleanse Cannon™. Forget sipping kale — you launch it into your system like a salad grenade. BOOM! Instant green gut bomb.
Positive Jill: That sounds painful and expensive.
Positive Joe: Painful? Try the Egovac™ — the world’s first vacuum designed to suck your ego right out of you. Warning: may also suck up your car keys and your dignity.
Positive Jill: And yet, people would still line up if you posted it on Instagram.
Positive Joe: Exactly! Don’t forget the Miracle Mattress™ — vibrates, aligns your aura, and plays TED Talks at 2 a.m. Because nothing says restful sleep like Simon Sinek whispering about leadership while you dream of PowerPoints.
Positive Jill: Joe… you’re getting a little carried away.
Positive Joe: Carried away? I’m only getting started! Goat Yoga Safari™ — why just stretch when you can have a goat jump on your back mid–Downward Dog? Or Colon-Cleansing Socks™ — sweat out toxins right through your toes while pretending your feet are spa treatments.
Positive Jill: Okay, that one’s just ridiculous.
Positive Joe: Ridiculous? You haven’t even heard the Aura Polisher™ — buffs your aura shinier than your car. Or the Cry-Laugh Retreat™ — only $3,000 to cry at sunrise and laugh at sunset. And don’t forget the Detox Toaster™. Two slices in, toxins out. Gluten-free, of course.
Positive Jill: Joe, I think they get the point. Humans really will try anything. But here’s what they need to hear: some of these things might make you feel a little better for a moment. But they won’t heal what’s inside.
Positive Joe: And that’s the truth. You don’t need another gadget, cure, or seminar. You need you. The real you.
Positive Jill: And the good news? You already have it. You don’t need to buy it — you just need to live it.
You don’t need another gadget, cure, or seminar. You need you. The real you. To learn more about healing by being real, just ask Positive Joe, Positive Jill, and their Positivity Friends at PositiveJoe.com.
By Positive Joe & Positive Jill – “Be Real. Be Positive. Be Alive.” Positive Joe, Positive Jill, & their 12 Positivity Friends are here to show that real positivity is simply being real — and that’s the most fulfilling way to live. Through stories, books, videos, music, and even the Positive Joe apparel line (featuring the cuddly Positivity Bear), they share one simple message: the Real You is the Positive You — and that’s the path to a Full Life. Be Real. Be Positive. Be Alive. To explore more, visit PositiveJoe.com.